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Throughout the 21st century and arguably more so in the last 10 years, mixed-raced people have been racially fetishised for their exoticism. The prevalence of social media has heightened this with many users on Twitter, Facebook, and TikTok exclaiming their desire to date a BAME person so they can have a baby with olive skin, deep eyes, and luscious dark hair. For a mixed-race person, it can be perceived as a fetishisation of solely the ‘good’ features of being in a minority group whilst disregarding less popularised attributes.
There seems to be a preference for a skin colour that is dark enough to be exotic but not dark enough that their children are burdened with racial microaggressions and an appearance that strays too far from western beauty standards.
Being a mixed-race Asian will often result in a plethora of questions surrounding your native identity. People often ask ‘what are you’ because you look ‘so exotic’, too exotic to be fully white yet too racially ambiguous to figure out where you are from. In a society that already supports social constructs of race (even if done implicitly), questioning someone’s identity in such an abrupt manner forces people into concrete categories of race, gender, and sexuality.
Mixed-raced individuals are expected to fall into social categories and stray from a single race. This questioning of identity insinuates a social narrative that the nuance of a mixed-raced identity can be reduced to the singular identity whilst ignoring the needed celebration of diverse cultures. More sensitivity is required when asking around the topic of a person’s heritage. Asking about a person’s family, where their mother and father grew up, what it is like in their parents' family home is a supportive and gentle way to find out about a person’s history.
“Dating can be hard because the question of my ethnicity is inevitable. My skin is not white enough to be white-passing and not dark enough to be fully Indian. Once getting to know a potential partner, I must tell them the ins and outs of my culture to make sure that they are aware of how the Indian side of my family perceives dating. I often think it would be better to date a person who understands my culture to avoid complications, yet living in the UK, it is hard to do this. ”– Anonymous, British-Indian.
Finding a balance of respecting my Asian mother while accepting that my situation in British culture is conversely different to Asian culture has been a struggle. I often felt irritated that my mother would prohibit actions that I assumed were normal for a teenage girl.
Acknowledging that what seems harsh for a British teenager is a social norm within Asian society aided me to understand where my mother was coming from and my perceived intolerance with her house rules.
When I told my mother that I was going to pursue a degree in English and Philosophy, I was welcomed with an embracing support that comforted me with the fact that my Asian mother accepts me for who I am and my strengths. I appreciate the prevalence of Asian culture in my childhood. I will always devote my love of authentic Taiwanese cuisine, Buddhism, and the ability to speak Mandarin to my mother.
My capability of merging Asian and British culture has taught me that my mixed-race identity doesn’t necessitate a linear experience. I can proudly wear my Jade necklace that my mother handed down to me and still get a tattoo although it is often shunned in Asian culture.
This mixture of culture has formed my identity above anything else, and I will always thank my parents for their open-minded leniency for my dual culture.
Growing up in London has been a hugely beneficial experience for me as a mixed-raced individual. Living in a city that celebrates multiculturalism through art, food, and events has shown me that I should celebrate my Asian identity instead of whitewashing the oriental culture that I have grown up with. This only became obvious to me when I moved to Birmingham for university and the microaggressions that are present in UK cities that are less aware of racial insensitivity.
Nevertheless, stereotyping is still prevalent for biracial women in London, especially through catcalling. In a time where everyday sexism is still an issue, race becomes a catalyst.
Women of all races have been victims of sexual stereotyping. Other stereotypes that come from being BAME include the grave expectation that Asians are high achievers in school which has detrimental effects on adolescent mental health because of this stereotype. black people are stereotypically labelled as aggressive and therefore, deemed less approachable in society. When added with the layer of being mixed-race, further ignorance can occur.
Once overcoming the generic assumption of mere oriental origin that people often guess, an announcement that I am half Taiwanese, and half British becomes a shock. ‘You don’t look Asian’ or ‘you definitely look more white’ is a common response. The problem with these stark questions is the insensitivity. Growing up, being questioned for my ethnicity becomes an alarming occurrence. Mixed-race people become conditioned to these questions and maintain a tolerant attitude, disregarding the patronising implications of asking ‘what are you’. Yet with a history of colonialism and imperialism targeted at minority groups, the question becomes negatively loaded with a perpetuation that one’s ambiguous appearance doesn’t belong in western society.
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